Writings

I write a monthly Business Coaching column for "The Business" supplement in the best selling regional newspaper in England, the Eastern Daily Press. Why not read this month's selection from my column archive below? I plan to make the rest of the archive available soon - for free - and would simply ask you to register for a password to access them once they are available.

Chris Liles

Work conflicts 'costing billions'

Stress, heavy workloads, personality clashes and warring egos in the workplace are costing employers billions of pounds a year in lost production, a report has claimed. Conflict is an inevitable part of the workplace, but is crippling British business because it is being so poorly managed, according to the study. The Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development and business psychology firm OPP claim the average employee is spending two hours a week dealing with some form of conflict, and they suggest it is costing millions of working days a year.

Two hours a week dealing with some form of conflict? That's 24 minutes a day! From experience helping my clients I suspect that could actually be understated! Considering solely personality clashes (my favourite area), how can they arise in business?

Working life is increasingly busy so people spend less time communicating. Rushed chats, abbreviated emails, texts & phone calls can all lead to misunderstandings. Assumptions result which (especially if incorrect) upset recipients. Tempers flare, personality clashes explode and even previously sound relationships 'crash & burn'!

Personality clashes in business can occur between:

• Colleagues (at any level).
• Managers and their staff.
• Managers and their bosses.
• Salespeople and prospective clients.
• Service staff and customers.
• Staff and suppliers.
• Interviewers and interviewees.
• Effectively, anyone in business dealing with any other person.

The key area I have found contributes to the above clashes is - speed of Communication.

1. You rush into the Department needing an instant answer for a client you're meeting in ten minutes. What's wrong with these people? They move as slow as geriatric snails!
2. You're trying to build a personal relationship with your key client. She says she can't waste time chatting about trivia, just talk business. What a 'cold fish'!
3. You have made a stunning sales presentation but the prospect is still wavering. They are asking questions and planning to consult colleagues before deciding whether to buy. Why can't they make up their own minds?!
4. You need to negotiate with a critical supplier but can't tie him down long enough to discuss your detailed specifications. It's like trying to discuss something with Road Runner - beep beep!

What is the answer to all those 'challenges'? Simple - empathy. Place yourself in the other person's shoes and recognise their strengths.

1. Perhaps you always seem flustered to them. They don't know your time schedule. Their strength may be steady, careful processing. Slow down if effective communication is important.
2. Getting to know people in business may not be important to her. She excels at focusing on the task and achieving goals. Speed up if effective communication is important.
3. Perhaps you have not explained to the depth they seek. They may want to know you better before buying. Slow down if effective communication is important.
4. He may be bored with your laboured, detailed approach. Give him an overview as a starter. Speed up if effective communication is important.

It would be a boring business world if we were all the same. The trick in avoiding conflicts is to (a) recognise the differences between yourself and others (b) value those differences (c) 'stand-back' to strategise for effective communication.

Success could gain you 24 minutes a day. More time in the pub to relieve your other stressors!

Getting your own back?

Yesterday I was stabbed in the groin by a masked man wielding a knife. However I was under full anaesthetic and he continued by repairing my hernia, so I was reasonably happy with these circumstances!

In the Recovery Room I pondered about our zones for personal space. We may allow people within 1.2 metres of us when business networking; friends perhaps as close as 46cm and family down to an intimate 15cm. Yet I had permitted a stranger to pierce my skin and nurses to freely touch my body - even private parts which rarely see daylight!

My experience began gently enough when I walked into Norfolk & Norwich University Hospital to be greeted by a smile which lit up the room - not a "Have a nice day" grimace, but a genuinely welcoming smile. Despite nerves, I naturally returned the warmth, which helped me to relax a little.

A succession of pleasant chatty male nurses helped me settle-in and complete necessary forms. Around now I realised I was naturally adapting to their personality styles, as in business networking. Instead of allowing my nerves to emerge by being curt and grumpy, I was wafting along on their wave of pleasantries. If I had chosen negative behaviour, do you think they would have been quite so pleasant?

Then I felt the approaching bow-wave of the Ward Sister who hove into view to rapidly and efficiently rattle through paperwork. I answered her questions similarly promptly then, evidently satisfied, she disappeared.

Soon I was flat on my bed, wheeling along a maze of corridors. This trip was softened by pleasantries from my affable chauffeur who handed me over to Theatre Staff. More necessary checks to ensure required parts of my anatomy remained intact, kept me occupied by reflecting the questioner's style as cheerfully and efficiently as I could manage - given my circumstances.

So we return to my Recovery Room musings which I now supplement by the theory that we get back in life what we give out. I know many pressurised, grumpy business people and am surprised how many "miserable sods" they encounter. Conversely, I rarely encounter such negative folk - why?

Hearing "Nurse-call" alarms sounding regularly, I chose to wait until my need for assistance was well warranted. Having decided against a chase-up ring, thankfully the Sister appeared and "relieved" my concerns. Numerous post-operation queries had arisen and I recalled her preferred efficient manner. So, after checking if I could clarify some points, I rattled through ten questions (written whilst waiting her arrival) and recorded answers to save repetition.

Although only in Hospital for 12 hours, mutually empathetic approaches such as this helped build effective, warm relationships. Was this because it was an NHS Private Ward? No. Was it because both sides were professional communicators? Maybe.

Moral: Show grumpiness - get grumpiness back. Show empathy - get empathy.

Question: In your business relationships, do you get your own back?